first blog!

OK.. So here it goes my first blog!  Well I guess I can start by saying a little about me. My name is Erin, I am 21 years old. I am the oldest out of 5 kids. 4 girls and a "finally", as my dad calls him.. We recently moved to Colorado, about 7 months ago.. Let's go back to almost a year ago.. We were living in a small town in Wisconsin called Stoughton. It consisted of about 12,000 people. It was where we all grew up. This was home. Everyone knew everyone.. well just about. . I had been in a relationship with a guy and were engaged. We were so happy. Finally I had found someone who I could trust with my heart. Things seemed to be going really good.. well for me. But my parents not so much. Financially they've been struggling since I was born. Something just wasn't working. My dad was working to much and I felt he wasn't getting what he deserved. He was tired. Exhausted. Unhappy.. He didn't know what to do. He'd been looking around for work. Nothing seemed to be working out. Until one day he found an ad on craigslist in Denver.. Didn't think much of it, sent another ordinary email. Well a few hours later he gets a call. Little did we know that call changed our lives forever.

Within a week my dad was going to do the most adventurous most daring thing he's ever done. Move to Denver. He bought a truck, new clothes, and was on his way. Hardest thing our family's ever done. He was gone for 3 months. We had to live life without him. It was different, but I knew this was good for us. All of us. So back to me! We just resumed being together. We didn't know what to do, If we should stay together, if he should move with, if I should stay back. It was hard. I didn't know what to do.. I knew exactly what I wanted.  I wanted him to move with us. Well that wasn't going to happen. He was in the army and he wanted to pursue that. So May 26th  came and it was moving day. It was a mix of emotions. I was happy to get out of Stoughton.. and couldn't wait to be in a new place with mountains! I love the mountains.(I look at them everyday!) My now ex drove with us to help us move. 18 long draining hours in a van was soon to be over. We arrived at the house we are renting at 2:00 am and couldn't wait to get out of the freakin van and just lay down!  When we got in we looked around then noticed the carpets were wet from getting shampooed.. just our luck. We didn't care, we just wanted to sleep. So that afternoon we unpacked and got settled in. I couldn't believe we were in Colorado. It was like I was dreaming. I just couldn't fathom where we were! I was beyond excited! Still was wondering what would happen to Nathan and I. About a month and a half later I decided to take a plane for the first time ever by myself to see Nathan. i was missing him. I wasn't scared like I usually get when I do new things. I knew God was with me. I could feel his peace. It was the best feeling ever. I stayed in Wisconsin for 2 weeks. I must say it was the best 2 weeks of my life. We went up north camping! It was soo fun! I will cherish those memories forever, but it ended too soon When we got to the airport to go home, I sat on his lap crying, hugging him tight because I didn't want to go. They called my gate I went up looked back at him teary eyed and that day was the last day I would see him. Ever.We broke up a bit after that. Hardest thing to go through. He was my first love. and with moving I had no friends for support. I felt so alone, in a dark, dark place. All I remember was being angry at everything and crying myself to sleep of the thoughts of his arms around me. His scent. His lips. it was all gone.. my life was falling apart. I felt so hopeless, alone. Questioning everything. God was there even though I couldn't feel him.. He was feeling my pain. He endured the same pain, but physically. Today I am a very different person than I was a few months ago. I am a stronger person. I am happy to be alive. I love looking out at the mountains! I thank him everyday for bringing us out here. Even though it was extremely hard emotionally for all of us to leave our family and friends, I wouldn't change a thing!