:)

God says "Do not worry, but instead pray about everything." Easier said than done. Being in an unfamiliar place was very scary to say the least. We didn't know where anything was. Knew no one. I felt lost in this unknown place that is now called home.  All I could think was, am I going to make friends?  What kind of people am I going to meet? All these thoughts were coming to the surface.  I was a very weak girl on the inside. I looked tough on the outside but really, I was scared. We all were. I wasn't confident in who I was. I was growing farther and farther away from God.  I didn't know why God brought us here. Everyday was a struggle. It was difficult to comprehend that this was our home now. No going back. That was a scary thought. When am I gonna see my family again? I missed my grandparents. But I knew this was where we had to be.

Summer was rough. We were all up in each others grill. My 3 younger siblings had to start a new school. I know how that is. I went to a new school every year up until high school. I knew they were scared. I could see it in there eyes. I felt there pain. I tried helping them by getting out the house and go to the park.  Explore a little, but most of the time they rejected my offer. I hated seeing them suffer. It was hard on me because I loved to go out and doing new things, but they wanted to stay in. I didn't know how to help them. By the end of  summer we were about to rip each others heads off. It was brutal, let me tell you! Finally school had started up! I went with my mom to pick them up after their first day. Natalie walks into the van and says "I hate this school" My mom and I look at each other like ohh crap. Rachel and Chris seemed to have liked it! We felt relived. They made a few friends. Weeks pass and stories of school were sounded more and more positive! Finally some happiness was seeping through. Praise the Lord!

Meanwhile Ashley and I were homeward bound. Of course we looked for jobs. But we still didn't know what to do with our time, We were jealous that Rachel, Chris and Natalie got to get out of the house and be with actual people other than our family. About a month later Ashley enrolled at Colorado Art Institute for photography. And I got a job cleaning houses! Finally things were looking great! I got a job. Although it was part time, it was getting me out of the house, that was more exciting. The first house I cleaned had a bathroom with a view of the mountains right there, In the back yard! I was flipin out with excitement! I just stared and absoulutly amazed by this beauty! I was speechless. Then my boss comes in and starts laughing at me. They made fun of me because I was so taken by the mountains. They told me to bring a camera! (which I didn't.) I loved cleaning houses and driving around seeing all this newness! It was the best feeling in the world. I just stared out the window admiring this beautiful city. All that driving around helped me get to know the place better. Sadly the job didn't last long due to an hour of driving back and forth wasn't worth the gas for a part time job. But I learned a lot from my boss. She was going through a very hard time with her family and always came to work with a smile on her face. She had a very positive attitude towards life. And I just didn't get it. How can she be happy when her life is going through this difficult time? She always seemed to amaze me. On how someone can be so strong at a tough time. I admired that. Anytime something hard happens in life, I will think of her.

Right now everything seems to be going pretty good for all of us! My dad gets a steady paycheck, which is awesome! My mom just had an interview on Friday. So we will see how that goes. Ashley just turned 20 yesterday in fact. and is working at Ruby Tuesdays while attending school part time. Rachel, Chris, and Natalie all have friends and are happy with where things are, which is very very good! And as for me, I am still unemployed but am going to meet with a lady who helps disabled people with her horses. SO I meet her on Wednesday and am super pumped! I have been reading the bible a lot more than I have ever in my life. I feel I am learning new things in each reading! Our church is fasting, but I decided I'm not going to participate. I'm not ready for that yet. I've been attending a college group on Friday nights, and have been really enjoying it! People are so nice and they greet you with a handshake! Still getting used to that! Also  I've been working out for a month now everyday for an hour and been lifting some weights. I think I may be addicted now! Lately I just have been so happy and I don't even know why. I'll have these feelings of wanting to burst with excitement. Just feel like screaming. Maybe its from working out? Who knows..

I thank God for all he has done for us. I truly feel blessed. Thank you Jesus! And can't wait to see what you have in store for us! : )

first blog!

OK.. So here it goes my first blog!  Well I guess I can start by saying a little about me. My name is Erin, I am 21 years old. I am the oldest out of 5 kids. 4 girls and a "finally", as my dad calls him.. We recently moved to Colorado, about 7 months ago.. Let's go back to almost a year ago.. We were living in a small town in Wisconsin called Stoughton. It consisted of about 12,000 people. It was where we all grew up. This was home. Everyone knew everyone.. well just about. . I had been in a relationship with a guy and were engaged. We were so happy. Finally I had found someone who I could trust with my heart. Things seemed to be going really good.. well for me. But my parents not so much. Financially they've been struggling since I was born. Something just wasn't working. My dad was working to much and I felt he wasn't getting what he deserved. He was tired. Exhausted. Unhappy.. He didn't know what to do. He'd been looking around for work. Nothing seemed to be working out. Until one day he found an ad on craigslist in Denver.. Didn't think much of it, sent another ordinary email. Well a few hours later he gets a call. Little did we know that call changed our lives forever.

Within a week my dad was going to do the most adventurous most daring thing he's ever done. Move to Denver. He bought a truck, new clothes, and was on his way. Hardest thing our family's ever done. He was gone for 3 months. We had to live life without him. It was different, but I knew this was good for us. All of us. So back to me! We just resumed being together. We didn't know what to do, If we should stay together, if he should move with, if I should stay back. It was hard. I didn't know what to do.. I knew exactly what I wanted.  I wanted him to move with us. Well that wasn't going to happen. He was in the army and he wanted to pursue that. So May 26th  came and it was moving day. It was a mix of emotions. I was happy to get out of Stoughton.. and couldn't wait to be in a new place with mountains! I love the mountains.(I look at them everyday!) My now ex drove with us to help us move. 18 long draining hours in a van was soon to be over. We arrived at the house we are renting at 2:00 am and couldn't wait to get out of the freakin van and just lay down!  When we got in we looked around then noticed the carpets were wet from getting shampooed.. just our luck. We didn't care, we just wanted to sleep. So that afternoon we unpacked and got settled in. I couldn't believe we were in Colorado. It was like I was dreaming. I just couldn't fathom where we were! I was beyond excited! Still was wondering what would happen to Nathan and I. About a month and a half later I decided to take a plane for the first time ever by myself to see Nathan. i was missing him. I wasn't scared like I usually get when I do new things. I knew God was with me. I could feel his peace. It was the best feeling ever. I stayed in Wisconsin for 2 weeks. I must say it was the best 2 weeks of my life. We went up north camping! It was soo fun! I will cherish those memories forever, but it ended too soon When we got to the airport to go home, I sat on his lap crying, hugging him tight because I didn't want to go. They called my gate I went up looked back at him teary eyed and that day was the last day I would see him. Ever.We broke up a bit after that. Hardest thing to go through. He was my first love. and with moving I had no friends for support. I felt so alone, in a dark, dark place. All I remember was being angry at everything and crying myself to sleep of the thoughts of his arms around me. His scent. His lips. it was all gone.. my life was falling apart. I felt so hopeless, alone. Questioning everything. God was there even though I couldn't feel him.. He was feeling my pain. He endured the same pain, but physically. Today I am a very different person than I was a few months ago. I am a stronger person. I am happy to be alive. I love looking out at the mountains! I thank him everyday for bringing us out here. Even though it was extremely hard emotionally for all of us to leave our family and friends, I wouldn't change a thing!